Reinventing Yourself as a New Man
The only happy and relevant people are those who have learnt to walk with change
At a family wedding, I overheard two elderly gentlemen talking. “I am living on bonus time now,” said a grandfather, while another said equally morosely, “I have wasted my life!” It was sad to hear two men having led fairly decent lives, sound despondent in the evening of their lives. Why do they feel helpless, tired and unmotivated? Why don’t they take charge right here and now, and resolve to make the best of their years? One has so many choices today.
For life is, and should be, a constant process of reinvention. A child gradually increases his field of activities and fires his ambitions as his mental, physical and spiritual faculties build up. Similarly, with waning strength and faculties, we should learn to adapt our lives to activities that the present reality allows. The most successful people in the world are those who have learnt to walk with change and adapt themselves to circumstances. Keeping yourself abreast with the latest technology and relevant news is just as important as being flexible in your personal life — in your relationships as well as the demands you put on your body, mind and the people around you.
Constant reinvention at all stages of life is the only way to stay afloat professionally as well as personally. Being on a constant learning curve is also a great way to bring in some healthy excitement into life. Look around; movement attracts energy, happiness and prosperity, while stagnation brings in depression and a stalemate. Flowing water is clean and useful; stagnant water gets polluted and breeds diseases. Keep a house shut for a long time and it acquires negative vibes; open the windows and allow fresh breeze to swish through, and a new life force seems to take over the same environ.
Similarly, we all need to keep the life force alive and moving around us all the time, and the only way to do that is constant movement — onwards and upwards, no matter what your age. Reinvention is not just about learning new processes and techniques; it is also about changing one’s outlook and changing interests, hobbies, relationships and job profiles. It’s about shifting your goalposts, and even your goals and targets with time. Even if you do not seek change, change will find you. And when that happens, you had better be prepared!
Amitabh Bachchan is a good example of a man who has constantly reinvented himself — from a bank employee to angryyoung-man actor, to superstar, to TV anchor, grandfather and general patriarch. He has worked passionately on each reinvention and taken care to stay true to the image he has adopted. There have been times when life has thrown him googlies, but AB’s greatness lies in his being able to get up and climb new heights in yet another role.
Most of us postpone dreams to a later stage; we wait for the ‘right’ time in life. Women look forward to a time when their children are settled, and they finally get a chance to do what they have “always wanted to do”; men wait for retirement.
The only ‘right’ time is here and now. While it may not be the right time to fulfil certain dreams, that doesn’t mean we should not always be mentally prepared to receive that dream. Nor does it mean that in looking towards that dream, we forget the relevance of the present moment. Every present moment offers a chance to learn and reinvent. As beauty expert Shahnaz Husain said the other day, “Life forces us to make choices; but if we are alert and empowered, we can create our own choices and be in charge of our own lives. Isn’t it exciting that God gives you a chance to reinvent yourself every morning?”
As with the elderly men, why should life be waiting for anything at any stage? It should be a constant process of reinvention and relevance. We have to ensure a constant release of any stagnant energies, and learn to age gracefully and accept life. For life reveals its beauty at every stage. Life gives us indications that it is time for change. Learn to recognise them and focus on what you really want to do. Don’t just do things the way they have always been done, nor live life the way it is ‘meant’ to be lived.
As American writer and futurist Alvin Toffler said about what lies ahead, “illiteracy will not be defined by those who cannot read and write, but by those who cannot learn and relearn”.
These are 5 steps I’ve identified to reinvent yourself:
1. Create a vision for your future.
Sit quietly, close your eyes, and imagine the people, places, or
situations that you need to leave behind. Now imagine the future that
you want, whether it’s simply a feeling, a group of people, or a
situation such as a wonderful new job.
Imagine how it will feel to be in that new place. Picture the sun
coming up behind your future, the warm glow of the light on your face.
Stand for a moment and silently voice your appreciation of everything
that came before. Once you’ve thanked the past, turn towards the sun,
and with compassion and gratitude, imagine yourself walking away from
the past and into the future.
2. Write about your reinvention.
Imagine a scene from it, or write about how you’d like it to play
out. Where are you living? What do you do in the mornings, afternoon,
evenings? Who are your friends? What do you spend your days doing?
Continue writing for as long as this exercise feels invigorating and
exciting. Write scenes, dialogues, lists, plans. Make the future come
alive. Write about how it will feel to be there. Keep your writing
somewhere where you will look at it occasionally. Feel free to add to
it.
3. Surround yourself with visual reminders of the life you’d like to create.
If it’s a new job in a particular field, put objects or images from
that field someplace where you’ll see them every day. If it’s a home,
find a picture of a house that you love and put it near your front door.
It can be anything that reminds you of what you’re moving toward.
4. Now that you have a vision of your future, break it up into workable tasks.
What do you need to do—every day—to create that vision? Look for
work? Meet new people? Search for a place to live in your chosen town?
Make it specific. Make a list of everything you need to do and a
schedule for when you’ll do it. Then do it and commit to keep doing it,
one day at a time.
5. Every day, go back to that vision of you walking towards your future.
Every morning or evening, close your eyes, and see yourself walking
into the rising sun, towards your dreams, and reconnect with why you’re
moving toward this new possibility.
Reinvention is neither easy nor always smooth. Often we encounter
resistance. We don’t want to let go, even of things that cause us pain
or that are obviously already out of our grasp. We often struggle with
limiting beliefs or stories about ourselves that hold us back from
trying new things.
But there is one way to keep your compass pointed to this new life,
even in the midst of any resistance or struggles you may encounter on
your path.
Each time you find yourself slipping into old habits—isolating
yourself, making excuses not to look for work, procrastinating on a task
that might help you advance in your career—don’t bother wondering why
you’re doing it or beating yourself up.
Just ask yourself this: “What can I do in this moment to keep moving forward?”
Then, no matter what you feel in the moment—lonely, self-critical,
tired, lazy, or disappointed—do something to maintain momentum, even if
it’s one small thing. There’s an old adage that says that true courage
isn’t about not feeling fear; it’s about feeling fear and acting anyway.
Choose courage instead of letting your fear choose your future for you.
source: TOI
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